Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the PINEAPPLER!!!!
You wouldn't believe if I told you, but this thing works and works unb'lievably goodly. I just can't believe it. Now I can have pineapple every day.
I don't want to hawk no products, but, jeez. Get this thing, and join me in pineapple heaven.
https://www.amazon.com/GUARANTEE-Generation-Stainless-Pineapple-Peeler/dp/B00ZKD9Z7Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1466043453&sr=1-1&keywords=Steel+Pineapple+Peeler+Heavey+Duty+Slicer+and+De-corer
Now, go out there, and love each other.