Wednesday, June 15, 2016


Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the PINEAPPLER!!!!

You wouldn't believe if I told you, but this thing works and works unb'lievably goodly. I just can't believe it. Now I can have pineapple every day.

I don't want to hawk no products, but, jeez. Get this thing, and join me in pineapple heaven.

Now, go out there, and love each other.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I Am Moving

Please. Please. I am asking you to come follow me over to my new blog.

There, I will explain everything. I promise.

But not today.

Please, won't you join me?

Monday, January 3, 2011

Why Complain?

Here is the introduction I gave to my new students this semester.

Dearest Students,

My name is Ray Halliday and I will be the facilitator for this section of (whatever class this is).

I was raised in Utica, New York, and I got a B.A. in English from SUNY at Fredonia. Later I got an M.A. from the University of New Hampshire in Writing. I've lived in New York state, Boston, North Carolina and San Francisco, where I live now. I've taught English, Ethics, Literature and Media Studies at Northeastern University, the University of New Hampshire, the University of Phoenix and DeVry University.

Other jobs I've had are working as tech support guy for Charles Schwab and Company, and for four years I was a night-cabbie in San Francisco.

I have a bike and I can ride it. I also like to run/jog, whatever you want to call it. I play guitar, keyboards, and the trumpet, but just barely. As you might have guessed, I like reading all sorts of things, fiction and non-fiction and I like writing, and I write a lot.

For awhile, I was eating a lot of fruit, but recently I became afraid of it.

Some time ago, someone gave me a cat.

Sounds neat, doesn't it?

I think it sounds all right. And, it doesn't mention stuff like the bands I've played in, or the stories I've written, or the terrific films I've made. So, it is neat, right? Good for you, Ray, nice life.

People go through their years at the end of the year and look at their accomplishments. I had some. Here is what they were:

I became a better teacher. Hmm, somehow, I must be better. I've been doing it long enough now, that I should stop being so freaked out by it. It is my job. I even got what I believe to be a promotion at one of my jobs. Way to go, buddy.

I made enough money that I did not have to go to the bank of Joel, maybe not even once this year, although I can't remember.

I had enough money at Christmas that I bought a lot of people gifts. Really great ones, too.

I've made an offer on my last remaining debt. But, as of yet, I have not heard from them. Getting this off my plate will really set me free. I look forward to getting this resolved in the new year.

I came up with a project to re-release some recordings of some old friends of mine. It turned into a three-cd mega project. And, it looks it will actually happen, with the three cds being released this month. It was an idea I had, and I made it into a thing. Ray: a doer.

I started making films this year. Little ones, but very significant and important films.

During 2010 I wrote songs again for the first time in a long time. The going was slow and the songs were goofy. Just before the end of the year, I started a new band, although, our first official meeting won't be until this month.

I started writing stories again. I sent out three of them! I started a large writing project. I even rented an office during my two week vacation and worked on it.

I ate right and I exercised. You know I did! My closest relationship this year was with fruit, but as you know, we were on the outs for awhile, but we are trying to mend things. I look forward to my new relationship with fruit in the new year, obviously with some new boundaries.

This seems so great, but I have been feeling terribly anxious the last few weeks. I think I cannot enjoy stuff. Still, what a great year, don't you think?

Please enjoy the rest of your year.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A New Kinda Beans and The Greatest Apple Ever

I bought some new kinda beans. They were in a bin where you write down the number of the kinda beans you got, but I forgot the name of the beans. They, as you can see, are kind of a pale green and have kind of a pale, bean flavor. I am happy to make the acquaintance of these new beans.

In other news, I was up in Fremont last Monday to do some judging of technology presentations, and as I was walking back to the bus stop, I pulled out of my bag, possibly the greatest apple ever. As you know, I've had a very logical terror of fruit for the last month or so, but my return to fruit was a very, very pleasant one. I was walking through one of those weird industrial park-things that used to be a very rural part of Fremont, but now has all these odd, sort of, big (but not tall) company buildings. What is this kind of landscape called, office park? Anyway, there's lots of mown grass and trees that have the fall colors. And, I had that apple and a nice lawn and tree smelling breeze. It was great. I think it was a gala, but it may have been a fuji. I could not identify it because it was blowing away my logic and abilities with it's greatness. Plus, I cannot name the source from which it came.

That's all I got to say, I think. New kinda beans, great apple.

Please enjoy the rest of your day.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A Little Room For Me

Look, everybody. I made myself a little room out of a closet. Now I sleep in a room, in a bed. Just like you.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

All This Good News

All this good news started a month or several weeks ago when I started thinking about getting old and not being able to work anymore. I figured out that if I put $40 away each week, I would have $360,000 by the time I retired. I even put $40 into a book, all hidden-like. I walked around fairly pleased for a week or so, then redid the calculations.

I've also been walking around under the impression that all of this good news on my horizon is either going to be good news or nothing. But that's false. I have, let's say, four things out there, waiting, and to be honest, at least two of them are really things, that if they don't work out, they will make things worse for me. Things will be, let's say, taken away. And I do not have that much to give.

Still, no news is good news, right? And good news is definitely good news. And all news is news, so what am I complaining about? No sleep because there's a dog that runs around all over my roof at night? Who's going to believe that?

No fruit yet: still terrified.

Please enjoy the rest of your day.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Good News or Wait a Minute, Plus, Odd Feelings

I've been getting all sorts of weird, good news. It's mind blowing, how many good things are going to happen to me. I say going to happen because so far, out of these zillions of good news tidbits I've been receiving, none of them can, or have yet to be verified. So, let's say might happen. I am a pessimist by nature/optimist depending on what day it is. Mostly I am a pessimist. But it's weird when it seems like all good news, all piled up in a good looking pile. You start thinking, well, what can you do, good things are going to happen whether you like it or not.

For example, I thought I was just burning the beans. I could smell them, deliciously, where I am, and that usually means they are burning in the kitchen. Turns out, they were cooked to perfection and perfectly content to just be cooked and not smoking and blackening. Something, someone has got it out for me in some good way, it seems, and it's not just the beans.

That makes you nervous. And then, brace yourself, it turns out that all the things you've been hearing about could happen, but have not, and will not until there is some sort of weird waiting period. In the meantime, you can wait for emails to be returned, applications to sit around, and for yourself to get it in gear to really make some stuff happen (the hardest of all if you're drained of confidence).

So, I wait, somewhat anxiously. But not so bad. One thing about being a pessimist is that you are trained to not get your hopes up. And, you tell yourself, good stuff just comes with responsibilities that are hard to cope with and besides, you get enough good stuff and you lose your complaint privileges.

And, now, on to fruit. It started to build up, my suspicions about fruit. I've told you about mangos that I suspected had a center that was filled with bees, and it turned out I was wrong. But I know that those suspicions were put in my head for some real reason, fruit is just too good for it to not have some weird, ulterior motive. The last thing I ate was a persimmon that I was sure was rigged to blow. So, for awhile, I'm off the stuff completely.

Please enjoy the rest of your day.