Why Complain?

Here is the introduction I gave to my new students this semester.

Dearest Students,

My name is Ray Halliday and I will be the facilitator for this section of (whatever class this is).

I was raised in Utica, New York, and I got a B.A. in English from SUNY at Fredonia. Later I got an M.A. from the University of New Hampshire in Writing. I've lived in New York state, Boston, North Carolina and San Francisco, where I live now. I've taught English, Ethics, Literature and Media Studies at Northeastern University, the University of New Hampshire, the University of Phoenix and DeVry University.

Other jobs I've had are working as tech support guy for Charles Schwab and Company, and for four years I was a night-cabbie in San Francisco.

I have a bike and I can ride it. I also like to run/jog, whatever you want to call it. I play guitar, keyboards, and the trumpet, but just barely. As you might have guessed, I like reading all sorts of things, fiction and non-fiction and I like writing, and I write a lot.

For awhile, I was eating a lot of fruit, but recently I became afraid of it.

Some time ago, someone gave me a cat.


Sounds neat, doesn't it?


I think it sounds all right. And, it doesn't mention stuff like the bands I've played in, or the stories I've written, or the terrific films I've made. So, it is neat, right? Good for you, Ray, nice life.

People go through their years at the end of the year and look at their accomplishments. I had some. Here is what they were:


I became a better teacher. Hmm, somehow, I must be better. I've been doing it long enough now, that I should stop being so freaked out by it. It is my job. I even got what I believe to be a promotion at one of my jobs. Way to go, buddy.

I made enough money that I did not have to go to the bank of Joel, maybe not even once this year, although I can't remember.

I had enough money at Christmas that I bought a lot of people gifts. Really great ones, too.

I've made an offer on my last remaining debt. But, as of yet, I have not heard from them. Getting this off my plate will really set me free. I look forward to getting this resolved in the new year.

I came up with a project to re-release some recordings of some old friends of mine. It turned into a three-cd mega project. And, it looks it will actually happen, with the three cds being released this month. It was an idea I had, and I made it into a thing. Ray: a doer. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=172217402815206&bcode=zuwu7

I started making films this year. Little ones, but very significant and important films.

During 2010 I wrote songs again for the first time in a long time. The going was slow and the songs were goofy. Just before the end of the year, I started a new band, although, our first official meeting won't be until this month.

I started writing stories again. I sent out three of them! I started a large writing project. I even rented an office during my two week vacation and worked on it.

I ate right and I exercised. You know I did! My closest relationship this year was with fruit, but as you know, we were on the outs for awhile, but we are trying to mend things. I look forward to my new relationship with fruit in the new year, obviously with some new boundaries.



This seems so great, but I have been feeling terribly anxious the last few weeks. I think I cannot enjoy stuff. Still, what a great year, don't you think?


Please enjoy the rest of your year.

Ray Halliday: Soon to be Covered in Flies!

A mango of ridiculous juiceosity. Do I need to say more? Deliciousity as well. But, c'mon. You know how mangoes can get!

I tried washing off some at the sink, but I think I have been covered too thoroughly. It went down my hands, over my wrists, down my sleeves past my armpits. It reached down under my shirt and hit my shoulders, back, sides and stomach. Reached into my pants and went down into my underwear and my legs. I tried the sink with soap and water but I'll be damned if I'm taking an extra shower because of a mango. I run this world, fruit, not you!

I will let you know how things turn out. I predict flies.


Still, the stubborn price standoff with me and pineapple rages on. I have plans that call for the pineapple this weekend, so my hand may be forced. Who handles the economy? It's them who run the world, not me or fruit. We are all pawns.

Thank you for your time. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Ray Halliday Displays a Nice Fruit Bowl Starring Pineapple!

I was standing on the corner the other day, enjoying a pineapple when a guy walked up to me and said, "Please, be careful, the acid in pineapple can cause terrible sores in your mouth."

I said, "Man, I already know. Everybody's been warning me."

And it's true. When you take your love of pineapple public, the first thing you hear is the mouth-warnings.

So far so good. But I trust my friends, and so I am, like, rinsing my mouth and stuff after eating pineapple, coating my mouth with olive oil and cotton balls before eating pineapple, pouring hot candle wax into my mouth before eating pineapple. I am now fairly terrified of pineapple after getting over the initial "normal" fear of pineapple.

It is a terrifying life I lead.

I would like to thank mango and banana for helping with today's fruit bowl.