Ray Halliday: Soon to be Covered in Flies!

A mango of ridiculous juiceosity. Do I need to say more? Deliciousity as well. But, c'mon. You know how mangoes can get!

I tried washing off some at the sink, but I think I have been covered too thoroughly. It went down my hands, over my wrists, down my sleeves past my armpits. It reached down under my shirt and hit my shoulders, back, sides and stomach. Reached into my pants and went down into my underwear and my legs. I tried the sink with soap and water but I'll be damned if I'm taking an extra shower because of a mango. I run this world, fruit, not you!

I will let you know how things turn out. I predict flies.


Still, the stubborn price standoff with me and pineapple rages on. I have plans that call for the pineapple this weekend, so my hand may be forced. Who handles the economy? It's them who run the world, not me or fruit. We are all pawns.

Thank you for your time. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

How Not to Eat a Pineapple

Beautiful pineapple #7.

This was still delicious, but I cannot recommend eating one this way. Best to skin it first. And that green top is not that tasty, it's kind of pokey.


Also, this morning, I had a mango that was so good, that I thought perhaps it was a trap, like a mango Trojan Horse. As I ate deeper into it, I thought perhaps there might be a bunch of bees in the middle, or a radioactive pit designed to, I don't know...somehow take me down, maybe take down the whole human race. It was that sweet, that perfectly ripe that had I eaten perhaps five minutes earlier or later, I wouldn't be writing this now. But it was so good, I didn't see it as just a fruit, but something more...something evil.


Also, I am looking for a replacement for almonds and raisins. I am eating too much of them. I love them too much, and am afraid I will soon be somehow punished for it.


Life with a lot of fruit is not all that it's cracked up to be.

Ray Halliday Displays a Nice Fruit Bowl Starring Pineapple!

I was standing on the corner the other day, enjoying a pineapple when a guy walked up to me and said, "Please, be careful, the acid in pineapple can cause terrible sores in your mouth."

I said, "Man, I already know. Everybody's been warning me."

And it's true. When you take your love of pineapple public, the first thing you hear is the mouth-warnings.

So far so good. But I trust my friends, and so I am, like, rinsing my mouth and stuff after eating pineapple, coating my mouth with olive oil and cotton balls before eating pineapple, pouring hot candle wax into my mouth before eating pineapple. I am now fairly terrified of pineapple after getting over the initial "normal" fear of pineapple.

It is a terrifying life I lead.

I would like to thank mango and banana for helping with today's fruit bowl.